changes.

change is permanent, some people; they change for the better, while some for the worse. well, whatever the changes may be, we should always expect that it's going to happen. nobody stays the same forever, life would be boring if everything and everyone stays the same.

often, i forget this! oh my.dear dear heart, please learn this lesson!

be it your family or your friends, they will always change! expect and embrace the changes, even if you're at the losing end. yes, you might lose something, but at least it won't be painful because you know it's coming.

i've changed, they've changed. perhaps, the pieces don't fit together anymore. and that's when you know, it's better to leave and just let it burn.

bila la kmurg mau try utk fhm prasaan sa hah...penat oowh sa ja yg slalu mencuba.penat always have to be the one to keep things going.penat ooo.pnah ka kmu consider psl sa?

i'm no believer of 2nd chances!

see the thing about me is that i hardly believe in 2nd chances! it's a good point sometimes...but it's also a bad point...reality is, once u make me angry, it's going to takeeee foreverrrrrrrr for me to forget about it although i try and say it's ok! once i hate u, i'll hate u biiiig time.we can try to make things ok again, but i'll still remember. pendendam?not so...i dont believe in revenge, it's just that i'll remember and i never want to go through the same situation again, hence, my reluctance to be in good terms again....thats it, i hate u means i hate u...maybe hate is a strong word.DISLIKE.yes dislike....thats it,i'm no hypocrite. if i say i dislike u, i mean it.wakakaka.

my karma is very strong, so i jussst know some ppl will feel the same way towards me too.no worries.every1 has the right to feel what they want, so i dont gv a damn.i'm just tryna live the best way i can.

the magic.

last nite, i texted with someone in my past :) ..."magic"is a word which i used most when we were together. indeed, he was 'magic'. he's some1 who always popped up whenever i thought about him, but then again, things are different now. although our relationship ended, we're still friends and that's good.

catching up with each other last nite was a good thing, we talked about what happened and what went wrong. he blamed it on his career which he said would make girls leave him, but he loves his work; and i'm glad he does. i left him because we have different commitments. we also talked about how each other's life is going and the simple things we used to enjoy conversing about.

i cant help but feel he is really something "magic" and i'm grateful for that. if it wasn't for him, i would not appreciate boo as much as i do now. i wont be as serious as i am now. i wont be able to handle long distance relationship the way i'm handling it right now. i cant help but think that god sent him to me to help me be a better person and prepare for the relationship i have now. so thank you for that, magic! :)

reasons.

today i sat down and had a biiiiiiig mug of nescafe+hot choc. i even ate a big slice of choc cheesecake! ahhhhhoii...i just dont gv a damn (at least today) about watching what i eat.

somehow i felt like everyday is the same. wake up-morning shower-on9-eat-sleep. dull holiday isnt it?no no no i aint complaining, i know there's a lot i can do, but i'm super duper lazyy..omagad.i need the motivation.lol. trangtangtang. it's boring to do things alone, but doing it by urself means u move faster. hahahaaa ok so i vow to do all the things i have in my mind rite now regardless of alone or with anybody else. hohohoo...

so what do i wanna do? i donno. i'll update later. but still, JINX! hate that. and so, i wont be telling until the things happen. so duhhh~ hohoooo! i need a pen and a paper. so long virtualll world!

oh betapa indahnya...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BewknNW2b8Y&feature=player_embedded#at=17

betapa indahnya rencanaMu~ oh gosh....pujiiii Tuhan halleluyah! amen!

can't belieeeeve this got me cryinggggg~ daMn it.

oh hatiku yg begitu mudah tersentuh recently, oh airmataku yg begitu mudah gugur....apakah semua ini....

betapa besarnya kuasaMu Tuhaaan!

impossible is nothing.

honest post.

ok its currently 11 degrees outside and i've been tossing and turning in my quilt for almost 1 hour now. my cheeks are red, my thoughts are all over the place and obviously my heart is not at peace.

here's the situation : bf's ex and bf is gonna meet up on friday nite. the reason? she has a major prob n she needs sumone to talk to. bf said yes, and told me abt it, asked if i'm ok wit it, i said yes (when actually it's quite disturbing)

here's how i see it.

no.1

i hate the fact that i said yes wen i really mean no. the reason? i wouldnt want to say "doesnt she have any other friends she could talk to? why do u guys hv to meet up? cant u just talk on9?" because i diiiiid promise him that i will try my best to trust him. but still i find this thing very disturbing.

no.2

why did he said yes to her? i know that he's being honest with me and all, its just dat why cant he think that she has other friends too?omagad?why world why?why are u so blindddddd boo?? eeeeee. and u knowwwwwww that i'm not gonna be ok wit it, yet u still said yes? and asked me? great, i appreciate the fact that u're telling me but pls??? imagine my ex called me up, bcos he has a problem n needs someone to talk to.wat wud u feel?

no.3

they are just friendsssssss!! why cant i accept that fact? i dunno n its bugging meeee..how can i let 2 ppl interfere with my happiness?damn it! i hate ittttt. i just hattteeeee it.right now i feel like i'm too kind by pretending its all alright but i'm so farrrraway and yessss m not the boss.gosssh y do u ppl do this...

no.4

i just despise girls who gets together with some1's guy. ok. i just hate it. arrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhh.

ok done.